Bush Is Back!

This was too funny to pass up, a special Inauguration day campaign to "Shave the Date", organized by Kristen Chase, who said "take pride in knowing you've rid your world of bush, once and for all."

Here's the original story at Salon.com:
Shave the Date Campaign

That was Bill Maher's take, when he lamented on a Sept. 19 episode of "Real Time With Bill Maher," "Bring back a little pubic hair. Not a lot. I'm not talking about reviving that 1973 look that says I'm liberated ... and I'm smuggling a hedgehog. I just want a friendly, fuzzy calling card that tells me I'm not going to get arrested."

Author of the Salon article, Lisa Germinsky, says, "So while some women shave themselves silly on Jan. 20, I plan to enter this new era with a tailored modern mini-bush and a reclaimed sense of womanhood. Maybe, if the bikini line theory plays out, we'll all go back to the Telly Savalas sooner or later. But the promise of a new America under an Obama administration gives me greater optimism. I envision a country where we can one day have it all -- a booming economy, national security, a healthy respect for sexuality and even a little bush. I say, Yes we can."

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Giant Muffin Plunges From Sky, Crushes Car

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Nothing Says I Love You..

..Like a diamond and a shotgun!

Some jewelry retailer in Florida is now running this campaign for Valentine's Day:

"A free shotgun worth $300 with any diamond purchase of $400 or more!"

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President George Jefferson

A buddy of mine caught Rachel Maddow (on CNN?) yesterday saying this:

"Obama is not being compared to earlier U.S. Presidents like George Jefferson or Ben Franklin."

Holy Toledo! Illiteracy rules, even on CNN, apparently.

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67 Computers Missing from Weapons Labs

It now appears there are at least 67 computers missing from the nation's nuclear weapons labs. Of course, they like to stress "nothing classified is missing", which means that it's highly likely there has been a theft of classified info. We'll only know after the fact, like 911, how our security and intelligence failed us again.

Here's the story at Usa Today:
Missing Computers

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Pictures from the War Front

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The Rat Catchers of New Delhi

New Delhi's government has a rat catching department - only, it hasn't caught a single rodent in more than a decade. There are currently 97 rat catchers on the municipal payroll, all working for the Rat Surveillance Department, a decades-old agency that last saw any action in 1994, when a plague outbreak killed 56 people in areas of nw India, The Hindustan Times reported. Each rat catcher earns about 3,500 rupees a month for catching (about $80), but there are no records of any rodents ever being caught. (Sounds to me like they're qualified to be corporate executives here in the U.S. of Capitalism!)

[From Seinfeld: "Do not go to India, they still have the plague, for God's sake"]

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The Anti-Gravity Pen

When the U.S. went into space, the ‘experts’ at NASA decided we needed an anti-gravity ballpoint pen that worked under weightless conditions. About SIX MILLION dollars later, we had one. The Russian astronauts simply used pencils! These work on friction, not gravity.

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The Dumb Agent Theory

Source: Wikipedia

USS Scorpion (SSN-589) was a nuclear submarine of the United States Navy lost at sea on June 5, 1968. While a public search did not yield any clues as to its location, Dr. John Craven, the Chief Scientist of the U.S. Navy's Special Projects Division, decided to employ the Bayesian search theory in order to establish its location. This involved formulating different hypotheses as to its location and using a probability distribution to combine the information and find the point of highest probability. The different hypotheses were taken from various independent sources, such as mathematicians, submarine specialists, and salvage men. The point Craven found ended up being 220 yards from the actual position of the sunken vessel. (Wikipedia)

Connected theory, see: The Wisdom of Crowds

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Kalifornia

In the film Kalifornia, Brad Pitt plays a killer whose 'boots aren't laced all the way to the top' (from Anthony Weller), who says “We’ll move to California; there the first month’s rent is free, state law. So we’ll just keep moving each month until we build up a nest egg.”

He kills his trailer park landlord in anger, shooting him in his Cadillac. He then takes a bulldozer, digs a hole big enough to bury the entire car. (and no one notices all the commotion at night!)

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Plymouth Rock was a Beer Stop

The pilgrims sailing to America on the Mayflower were blown off course, and rather than turn and head south for Virginia as originally intended, they put ashore in Massachusetts because they were running low on beer. Water was considered suspect, due to contamination and disease, and one of the first things the pilgrims built up after landing was a brew house.

One pilgrim, named Samuel Adams, used triple hops in his brew, and it's still tasty today. A German brewer named Augustus "Augie" Busch, used twice as much water and was smart enough to buy the advertising rights to all sporting events, including witch hunts, tar-and-featherings, tea parties, pig races, mule pulls, and Sadie Hawkins day, when women who caught men could force them into marriage Still popular in the South, was held annually at UGA when I went to college, and yes, us 'necks like agressive women, we get tired of being expected to be the chaser. (and of course, the race started with the traditional "Go you hairy dawgs!")

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Washington's Less-Known Quote

When George Washington was boarding the rowboat to cross the Delaware, he had to nudge 300-lb Colonel Henry Knox aside to make room, with these immortal words, “Shift that fat ass, Harry, but slowly or you’ll swamp the damn boat!” To me, these are much more inspiring fighting words than “full speed ahead” or “I regret that I have but one life to give.”

By the way, Washington was not the first President. John Hanson of Maryland was elected unanimously in 1781 by Congress after adopting the Articles of Confederation. He served one year, as did six others, before Washington became the eighth president, but the first under the new Constitution.

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Porn Interrupts Arizona Super Bowl Broadcast

from Arizona Daily Star

A short clip of a pornographic movie cut into a Comcast broadcast of the Super Bowl in homes in and around Tucson.

Officials at Comcast confirmed that its signal was interrupted during the Super Bowl, but the company is still working to figure out how porn broke into its cable feed.

Engineers at Comcast will be working throughout the night to determine what happened, said Kelle Maslyn, a Comcast spokeswoman.

The Star newsroom erupted with calls from irate viewers shortly after 7:30 p.m. who said that the porn cut into the broadcast just after Cardinals player Larry Fitzgerald scored a touchdown on a pass from Kurt Warner to give the Cardinals the lead with less than two minutes in the game.

Callers said that a clip showing a woman unzipping a man's pants broke into the standard definition feed reaching analog TV sets. Comcast's high definition feed was not affected, and Maslyn did not know how many homes were affected.

[Apparently there was even more scoring than we realized]

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