The Much Too Modern Olympics

The Olympics were halted in 394 a.d. by the Christian emperor Theodosius, who said they were a “pagan celebration” (Zeus favored the hammer throw). They were revived in 1892 by a Frenchman who wanted the French to become more fit in case they had another war with Germany – gee, what were the odds of that?

Judging from history, I don’t think being able to win a fencing medal helped much in either world war, and they didn’t have an Olympic “grenade toss” or “dodge the bullets” event, although the biathlon made sense: ski your butt off then shoot holes through the enemy!